Growing Up Hilt

My bipolar disorder has slowly gotten much worse as I’ve gotten older. More psychotic states, less energy, less stamina, loss of focus.

Maybe that’s why I’m returning to writing a blog to record it. I don’t know how to remedy this. I try to eat & sleep the best way for me. Even my flowers are ata standstill…growing like they like to do…

I have started participating in a mental heath website and am really enjoying it. One thing is for certain though: There are a lot of people worse off than me. In some ways I’ve done everything correctly. My sales training helps. I never tolerated any negative thoughts or the thought that I can’t do it. I always could do it if I made my mind to.

The good news is that I haven’t had a serious depressive setback in a long while. I can handle being manic, but I shut down completely when I get depressed.

Starting with a new psychiatrist. Dr. R retired. He needed to. I was charged with finding a new one and that’s practically impossible in my rural area now. I have settled in to having a nurse practitioner handle my meds and I will need to find a qualified psychologist for therapy.